Doughnuts, They Matter to the Cosmos

posted by Jeffrey on Saturday, September 30, 2006 at 9:52 AM

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Cosmic DonutI knew my love of doughnuts, a ritualistic Saturday morning indulgence, had deeper significance than merely satisfying my sweet tooth. According to CNN Space & Science (who's rss I subscribe to), cosmic doughnuts could be essential is the formation and birth of massive stars.

So kick that diet for a few minutes and get to your nearest doughnut shop...the cosmos is depending on you.

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Mind Your Testicles

posted by Jeffrey on Tuesday, September 26, 2006 at 8:54 AM

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Not once in the life of this blog have I ever commented on how a person actually ended up here on my page, but that is fixing to change. I use StatCounter for my free site statistics, and yesterday my eyes befell the most disturbing referring link ever. The referring url was from Nigeria and listed as a Google search for "how to fully crush a man's testicles"...yikes. There are only two rational explanations in my mind: 1) That this is some sort of tribal ritual and someone is trying to discover a more efficient way to do it (and has internet access to do so) or 2) Some poor guy in Nigeria cheated on the wrong gal.

Anyway, I felt it was my civic duty, and for the greater good of all MAN kind, to share this information and to tell you to keep a close eye on your "boys" for the next few days.

Big Butter Jesus

posted by Jeffrey on Monday, September 25, 2006 at 9:50 AM

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Big Butter JesusThis morning I enjoyed the comedy of Bob and Tom on 102.9, the Buzz, as I made my short jaunt to Panera. I turned on the radio right in the middle of one of the famous Heywood Banks' songs called "Big Butter Jesus". The song, not for the easily offended, is in reference to the sixty-two foot risen Jesus on the side of I-75 in Monroe, Ohio at Solid Rock Church.

This ginormous sculpture is alternately called "Touch Down Jesus". There are even doctored images out in cyber space of this stone Messiah adorned in a referee jersey...hey, I told you it wasn't for the easily offended. Some say that the infamous Christ of the Ozarks is actually taller than the statue in Ohio, but that info differs from source to source.Christ of the Ozarks

There is but one choice to make when you hear songs like "Big Butter Jesus" by Heywood Banks (if anyone has that .mp3, please share!). You can either get pissed off and set out on a holy crusade to right the perceived wrong OR get a good laugh, roll with it, and get over it. I, personally, thought the song was kind of funny and I didn't take personal offense since the Christ that lives within us is not a statue. On that note, he doesn't need a statue to represent himself in this world. No, it is people that he indwells and hence, through which he reveals his perfect love to the world.

Click here to check out other "Mega-Messiahs (and other End Times Titans)".

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Dare to Dream, Work to Win

posted by Jeffrey on Sunday, September 24, 2006 at 11:22 AM

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Yesterday morning Shaunna and I had the astute privilege of experiencing Dr. Tom Barrett. If you don't already know, Tom is:

An entrepreneur
President of Business/Life Management Inc.
A national corporate speaker to everything from groups of fifty to 5,000 person conventions to personal coaching with CEO's of Fortune 50 companies,
A recipient of tribute in the Congressional Record for his 10,000 hours of coaching and consultation to Senators and Congressman on Capitol Hill,
And the author of the national best seller, Dare to Dream and Work to Win.

We received this pleasure by attending a small conference of around 200-300 other Arbonne consultants at the Embassy Suites in Cool Springs. Tom was gracious enough to honor the invitation of several southeast NVP's to come for a three hour training, to the benefit of us all.

When he opened up with "In my opinion, Arbonne is the best company in the DSA and Network Marketing Industry" line, I was a little bit on guard. I mean, we believe that statement is true, but it felt like a motivational first. He went on to say that we had no idea how many companies he refuses to speak and/or associate with. That gave some validation to his previous statement, in my mind.

He then went on to further explain why he felt, as we do, that Arbonne is the best company in the industry by explaining his personal relationships with both Bob Henry (former lawyer and accountant, now Arbonne chairman and CEO) and Rita Davenport (President of Arbonne), demonstrating his knowledge of Arbonne's policies, products, standards, and compensation plan. This finally convinced me completely that he was, in fact, NOT blowing smoke up our collective ass.

Bottom line is that though I'm not one for sitting still and listening to one person for three hours, I found that the time flew by freakishly fast as Tom's style, information, and humor captivated me for the entire time (a hard feat to accomplish to be sure, for those who know me). So whether you're a fellow network marketing entrepreneur or the CEO of a fortune 50 company, you should definitely go listen to Tom if you ever get the chance.

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Sorry G.I. Joe, Knowing is NOT half the battle

posted by Jeffrey on Friday, September 22, 2006 at 11:12 AM

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For the past few days I've been reflecting on a conversation I had with two of my close friends and have come to a line of questions that is greatly perplexing to me. If God’s deepest longing is to know us and for us to know him, then where does my obsession of understanding what that means (whether that understanding be metaphorically, theologically, logistically, etc…) come in to play? After a great while of contemplation, the Spirit suddenly whispered, “Enoch.” Enoch? What’s he got to do with this. Then it hit me, here is what Genesis chapter 5 has to say about ole’ Enoch:

"18 When Jared had lived 162 years, he became the father of Enoch. 19 And after he became the father of Enoch, Jared lived 800 years and had other sons and daughters. 20 Altogether, Jared lived 962 years, and then he died. 21 When Enoch had lived 65 years, he became the father of Methuselah. 22 And after he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters. 23 Altogether, Enoch lived 365 years. 24 Enoch walked with God; then he was no more, because God took him away."
I think it is safe to conclude that Enoch’s walk with God simply means that he had a relationship with God. Then I realized that knowing someone will normally result in understanding them. However, the opposite is NOT true. Understanding someone will very likely NEVER result in knowing them. For example, I know alot about the Roman emporer Constantine, but that doesn't mean I know him, the person. Likewise, I know what people write about themselves in the infamous "about me" sections of blogs/mySpace/etc, but those are mere facts about themselves (hence the title of the section).

So, again, why does it matter whether or not we "understand" God, his ways, his will, his nature, etc. Wouldn't our time be better spent by striving to grow in the relationship we have with God, i.e. the unity we have in and with him? I have a sneaking suspicion that understanding would flow out of that knowing, out of that relationship, out of that unity.

ACT Now 2006

posted by Jeffrey on Monday, September 18, 2006 at 11:46 AM

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Whew, what a weekend. Shaunna and I spent the weekend in Orlando, FL at the 2006 Arbonne ACT Now, a regional training conference. Wow! We had soooo much fun with the other 11,000 people in attendance, all primarily from the southeastern/eastern U.S..

My favorite presenter was this chick named Jennifer Taylor who lives in Florida. Her husband and she moved down from Vancouver, Canada to work in some missionary activity of sorts and found themselves hurting for some cash. With the type of visa's they had, they couldn't just get any old job at a coffee shop or grocery store, so they were kind of screwed. Luckily, her doctor was the famous Arbonne National Vice President, DeAnna Osborn. However, it was her husband, Dr. Chris Osborn who Jennifer vented to about her families financial troubles. Chris told her that she'd be great at what his wife does. Jennifer thought, "...uh, be a doctor?" Lol. Dr. DeAnna shared the gift of Arbonne with her, and now, just over a year and a half later, she's training 11,000 people and providing her family with financial freedom.

I love her story (and her training) for a variety of reasons, but mostly because of the way she shares with people. She is (and trains people to be) "natural" as they share Arbonne. She harped, in a very conversational way, that you should never force the opportunity or products on people if it doesn't feel right. This is one of the reasons Shaunna and I have chosen Arbonne as the network marketing company to build a business with, they are anti-pushiness. Yeah, I know there's some bad apples out there, but they are actually acting against Arbonne's policies and procedures.

Anyway, we had a GREAT time and I'm looking forward to NTC '07 (National Training Conference) in Vegas next spring. Check out the pics of the trip on my flickr page
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Once Upon a Time...

posted by Jeffrey on Monday, September 11, 2006 at 10:38 AM

*I've moved, and my posts have come with me! Check out my new blog at* a galaxy far, far, away, there was a mighty group of powerful life forms. These life forms felt that it was their responsibility to ensure that all other life forms in their immediate galactic community be treated with morality and justice (at least as they see it, and hence, pursue it).

Unfortunately, the quasi-nobility of these life forms' goal of ending tyranny was jaded by the means in which they attempted to accomplish it. They continually employed the use of war to end, in their perception, the rule of evil and tyrannical leaders in other regions of the galaxy. This, of course, created many problems.

Suddenly, one day, for the first time in history, these life forms' own world was attacked by other beings who's world they were currently "liberating"! Having never experienced an attack on their own land, the beings of this super planet were outraged! They spent many of the immediate coming years re-living, or at the very least, living through the perspective of that one vulnerable day on which they were attacked.

What these mighty people failed to realize is that, though they had suffered a serious and great loss, it was but a glimpse of what a large percentage of beings in their galactic community experienced on a daily basis. What's more is that those beings were subjected to such terror by both, what we shall call, the "super-beings", in the means by which they sought to liberate, and by the tyrants from which these life forms needed freedom from.

One day, and it is unclear whether it was mere months or millennia in the future, these "super-beings" discovered that war can never end (or prevent) war. Destruction can never repair destruction. Tyranny can never stop tyranny. It is only Love that can free all people of the galaxy, including themselves, from fear, hate, war, poverty, and death.

It is believed that this understanding came to spread as far as our home we call Earth, and that we illustrated this by ending great stories with, "...and they lived happily ever after." Sadly, shortly after this learning (and despite the continued use of it's illustrative story ending), that knowledge was lost. I wonder when it will be discovered once more.

Bon Voyage!

posted by Jeffrey on Wednesday, September 06, 2006 at 9:30 AM

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Well, she's there. Our great friend Lacey Hearty moved to Vancouver yesterday to work with a church there for at least a year. From what we've heard, Vancouver is a very cool city with great coffee and trendy little art districts scattered about. Since it is apparently (via Lacey) kind of difficult to get a work Visa, why don't all you cats who are reading this venture over to Lacey's blog and hook her up with some monetary love. I know she'd greatly appreciate it.

We miss you Lace, but I can't wait to get the first of many stories about life in Maple Leaf Land.

An Environmental Magic Trick

posted by Jeffrey on Tuesday, September 05, 2006 at 11:32 AM

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Pick a city, any city. See those one million cars in that city you just chose? *Poof*, now they're gone! Want to know how I just did that?

I changed Everyone in the USA changed one lously light bulb. (Edited due to a previous misunderstanding.)

Yeah, that's right, if every household in America would simply replace one regular incandescent light bulb with an energy-efficient compact fluorescent bulb (the spirally kind) it would reduce the amount of CO2 (and other greenhouse gas) production to the equivalent of taking one million vehicles off the roads! Yeah, they cost a little bit more than regular incandescent bulbs, but they last longer and save you money in energy costs...not to mention the whole environmental benefit and making you a better human thing. Imagine the difference it would make if every household in the USA, or even the world, changed not just one, but all of their light bulbs.

Here's some sources if you care to read further about these statistics: energy star, Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), Michigan Department of Environmental Quality,, and

So now that you have the information, turn off your computer (as it too burns a ridiculous amount of energy), get out of the house, go buy some light bulbs and save the planet.

Congratulations, you're now a top notch magician and part of the solution.

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Genghis Kahn, Dunkin' Donuts, and Strange Books

posted by Jeffrey on Sunday, September 03, 2006 at 8:13 AM

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Thus far the weekend has been an eventful one. The little league football team that I coach won it's first game yesterday, 'Bama beat Hawai, Shaunna and I experienced some new food, and then we made some strange discoveries at Borders.

So about the food, if you have never been to Genghis Grill in Cool Springs, it is a MUST try! It's kind of difficult to explain how it works, so just follow the link to check it out. Since pictures are worth 1000 words, check out this one, on my flickr page, of the grill area below.

After leaving Genghis Grill, we went over to Borders to let our food settle. It was here that we found a number of strange and humorous discoveries. Here are some pics of two such discoveries. The first is self explanatory (to say the least) and the humor in the second was simply finding these two books next to each other on the shelf.

After letting our food settle at Borders, we made our way to the Dunkin' Donuts on Caruthers, also in Cool Springs. This, as far as I'm concerned, is the very nexus of the universe. I mean seriously, they have it all, the best donuts, great coffee, and a Baskin Robins sharing the same retail parcel. Check out these pics (also on my flickr page) for some of Shaunna's donut photo handiwork.

As promised, here's the Borders pics:

Here Comes the Pain!

posted by Jeffrey on Friday, September 01, 2006 at 10:28 AM

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Oh that's right boys and girls, here it comes, college football kickoff weekend! Woo hoo! Anyone who knows me is doubtlessly aware of my anticipation of this weekend. So far this weekend South Carolina shut out Mississippi State (for Spurrier's 150th career win), Iowa State held back Toledo in triple OT, Boston College survived a late rally from Central Michigan, and it took until the fourth quarter for the number No. 24 Sundevils of Arizona State to close the door on Northern Arizona.

The remainder of the weekend I'm looking forward to seeing Cal beat UT and Alabama beating Hawaii (ROLL TIDE ROLL!). I'd also like to see Vandy to upset Michigan in the Big House and for Charlie Weis' Fightin' Irish to take down Georgia Tech because, let's face it, everyone but USC fans can agree that the Irish got the short end of the stick last season. In addition, I wouldn't be suprised if the Arkansas vs. USC game isn't as close as a field goal...maybe even an upset.

Oh yeah, and one more time, ROLL TIDE ROLL!!

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